Don't Settle. Be Strong

A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. ~Richard Bach

If this is true, why do so many of us settle for anything less? I believe that for myself in the past, and for others now, we settle because of our fear of being alone.

There is also a myth that if we try hard enough the person we love will change. Change happens when the person we have passion for is open to changing. Otherwise, we are knocking our heads against the wall.

No one is perfect. It is important to have some standards that are rock solid. I believe that Bach’s standards allow us to honor our integrity.

I spoke to a woman whose partner would stop talking to her for days on end if they had a disagreement. This is cruel and unusual punishment and not to be tolerated. People can change when they believe they will lose what they want if they do not try harder to behave better.

If you are seeking a new relationship do not sell yourself cheaply. Have standards.

If you are in a relationship where you are not treated in a way that you feel cherished, get to counseling. It will not get better without positive action.

If your partner refuses to get help even knowing you will not longer accept bad behavior, you have come to a fork in the road.

I wish you the courage to be strong.

#perspective #relationships #personalwisdom #midlife #individualtherapy #expectations