About Counseling

Frustrated with your partner? 

Fighting about every little thing?

Feeling betrayed, or tempted to cheat?

Counseling will help you:

• Understand the changes of midlife

• Feel fully understood and valued

• End the cheating, lying and infidelity

• Have fewer arguments, improve communication

• Stop fighting over money

• Gain a return of your passion

• Halt thoughts of divorce or separation

You might be asking yourself -- Where is the person I fell in love with? Why are we stuck in this negative cycle, arguing about the same issues?

Maybe you're wondering -- Why doesn’t my partner understand how I’m feeling?  How come she / he is always angry with me? Why does he / she get so distant when we argue?

When you are unhappy in your marriage or relationship, everything else in your life seems more frustrating and difficult, too. It’s exhausting to keep trying to work things out when you feel like you keep beating your head against a wall.

And the more you try to fix it, the worse it gets.  When you are so close to problems, it is impossible to see your part in them.

Being unhappy in your relationship can be costing you:

• Inadequate attention to your work leading to financial problems

• A sense of security and closeness with your mate.

• Loss of confidence and self-esteem that permeates all aspects of your life.

In fact, the top 4 causes of marital discord according to John Gottman, the premier researcher in this field, are :

1. criticsm

2. contempt

3. defensiveness

4. stonewalling

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Marriage counseling or couples coaching can really give you the necessary insights and tools to create a lasting difference.

You see, most of us are never taught how to live as a part of a couple. We bring the concepts of relationship that we saw in our parents. The desire to really express what we want or to speak up about what we don’t really like in ways that our partner can fully hear have not been taught.

So we argue, and judge, and blame, and feel bad about ourselves feeling lost for how to do differently.

There is a rich array of tools available that I have blogged about. You might find there blogs about relationships of interest. You might start with these:

4 Skills to Use when Conflict Erupts

The Art of Apology -- a 4 Step Process

Some of us withdraw from our marriage emotionally, and seek satisfaction elsewhere. If you have done this you know that this creates more problems. Torn between two “lovers” is a nasty place to be filled with guilt and dishonesty.

Maybe you already know that once you’ve checked out emotionally, it can be really hard to muster up the desire for fixing a problem.